As we walk through life there are always roadblocks that stop our progression but occasionally these roadblocks come from within ourselves. What many of us don’t learn is how to remove these mental blocks so that we can keep pressing on.
I can’t count how many times I’ve looked in the mirror and wished someone else was staring back at me until I realised, maybe I can change that, maybe I can become better.
I decided to take the below steps to create a new and upgraded version of me, one that I would be happy to see when I look into the mirror.
Disclaimer
This is general advice. Please take careful consideration before taking action on any of the advice stated in this article and consult a professional adviser if necessary.
Change your mindset
Despite those three simple words this can be a difficult process to grasp. It takes practice.
Over time, I’ve learnt to set my own rules to keep myself in check. This allows met to be in control of the kite I’m flying instead of being dragged along behind it.
Changing your mindset can change your life.
Stop being a people pleaser
I’m only going to say this once so listen carefully…you will never be able to please everyone.
You shouldn’t be breaking your back for someone that would not lift a finger to help if you were in need of assistance. If you have the power to say no, don’t hesitate for the sake of the other persons feelings. Your feelings matter too.
You are the only constant person in your life and that means that you hold the sole responsibility for your happiness and wellbeing.
Worry less about the little things
It’s a common experience when some of us get a little too preoccupied with certain aspects of our life whether it has to do with our relationships, work life or our own inner thoughts.
So, the question is, how do we worry less? In my experience the simplest way to achieve this is to ask myself three questions.
1. Does it directly affect me? Yes/ No
2. Can I fix it? Yes/ No
3. Will I remember this situation in a year or two? Yes/No
Common sense will usually tell you if you should be worried but sometimes this can be hard to work out. By answering these questions I can quickly identify if it’s a big deal or not.
Project Confidence
Ask any successful person you know and they will tell you this, confidence is everything.
Personally, I identify with the motto “fake it until you make it” as this allows me to break free from my insecurities. If you speak with a strong, assured voice, people are sure to listen but if your voice is wavering and quiet it’s much harder to get the attention of your audience.
Think of media reporters and politicians. Why do you listen to them? Think about it for a moment. The reason you pay attention is not always to do with what they are saying but more so to do with their voice, facial expression and body language.
Learn to imitate their techniques and you’ll feel your confidence rise. Your voice is the most important tool in your life, use it well.
Shake up your routine
Every now and then an opportunity will come along for us to change. Usually, with a motive this can happen swiftly, but how do you find that golden prize to stir you along?
Work out what’s important to you!
Firstly you need to evaluate what you do on a daily basis. I would recommend keeping a diary for at least one to two weeks and just write a brief paragraph of what you did each day and for how long each activity went for.
This creates an accurate way to measure how much recreational time you have in each day. Once you have this worked out, it makes the next step easier.
You must learn to eliminate and reduce. What I mean by this is, in order to use your time more efficiently you have to sort out your priorities.
Turns out, Ronald Weasley is right. You need to prioritise what’s important, reduce what isn’t essential and eliminate what isn’t of use to you.
As an example;
- Priority: Saving a deposit for a new house
- Reduce: Take out meals &
- Eliminate: Unused subscriptions and memberships. Cancel these to avoid excess expenses.
This is a very easy way to get rid of the weeds in your financial or social gardens. You have to make room in your life if you want to grow.
Improve your fitness
I’m a big believer in taking care of your health from the inside, out.
I know what you’re thinking. Although exercise is taboo in some peoples’ households there are just too many benefits to ignore the positive effects of regular exercise.
It can improve your bodily functions by increasing circulation and improve your mood by releasing happy chemicals into your brain. It’s also a fantastic stress reliever, so feel free to invest in a punching bag.
Exercise doesn’t have to mean running in the sun, sweating and panting. It can be also be a great way to meet people and share a laugh.
Every person is different so don’t expect yourself to be able to run 10 miles after one week of training. Give yourself time and take it slow so you don’t cause yourself an injury.
Transform your style
Rock a new haircut
In my book, nothing is more invigorating than a new hair cut or style. It’s so refreshing to quite literally see a new version of yourself in the mirror after chopping your hair short or dying it to be a new colour.
Need something a little more subtle? In my teenage years I sought instruction from multiple YouTube channels in order to learn loads of unique ways to style and decorate my hair. I was then shocked by the amount of compliments I got from this simple change with so little effort.
Speak to your hair stylist if you are looking for any suggestions on what to try as they will be able to recommend a style that will suit your face shape and compliment your features.
Wardrobe update
A simple change in clothing can give a great boost of confidence, just the same as a new haircut. Have you ever wanted to try Coachella or Gothic style? Well I’m here to say there’s no time like the present, so if you favour a particular piece of clothing, why not try? (Keep in mind I am not encouraging you to dress in wizards robes at the office, that’s for your leisure hours!)
If you aren’t confident in your body and how it may look in certain clothing you can try something more subtle like a new lipstick or scarf. Sometimes the smallest changes can make the biggest impact.
At a time when I wasn’t too confident in my appearance I would wear my favourite underwear and bra set under my clothes. Even this personal, non visible choice made me feel comfortable in my own skin. Take this as a reminder that what you wear should make you feel good, regardless of whether or not other people can see it.
At the end of the day, it’s your body!
Education & Recreation
Learn a new language
If you enjoy travelling this can be a fantastic skill to master. When you learn a language that you are not familiar with it opens many paths including forging friendships, embracing foreign cultures and it can make your adventures around the world that much easier if you know the local tongue.
What’s more is that this looks great on your resume, (Curriculum Vitae if you want to be fancy). I regret not paying closer attention in my mandarin classes at school now because I would have been able to promote my skill of being fluent in another language. Don’t make the same mistake as I did, committing yourself to ignorance will only serve to keep you trapped.
Now I am learning French, as I’m a self diagnosed Francophile. I had been hesitant to begin with but language is a skill that can be mastered just like anything else.
Find a new hobby
There are immeasurable ways that you can safely express yourself and without ever having to pay a cent. Community groups, whether online or virtual are a source of friendship and inspiration for millions of people.
Did you want to be a dancer as a kid but your parents couldn’t afford the costs? You can start up your own group with some friends and live out your step up dream.
If you’re more athletic, enquire at your local netball, rugby or soccer club. Or if you’re into something less team orientated you can always try swimming or tennis.
Do you enjoy reading or theatre? What’s holding you back from joining a book club or a theatre troupe?
The first step is the most difficult but also the most important.
Change your career
What are you lacking in your current job?
Sometimes our professional pursuits don’t pan out the way we imagine. The work we do just doesn’t satisfy us the way we thoughts. In order to make a targeted change you have to identify what has you desiring a change in your work life. What is making you feel so unsatisfied?
Do you wish that you could do something more closely related to your moral values? Are you tired of the same old monotonous dribble day after day?
To start with you’ll want to write a ‘pros’ and ‘cons’ list of your current working role. Once you do this, identify the cons and write why you aren’t happy with this side of your job. It’s the oldest trick in the book but it works.
Then all you need to do is search for something new that ticks all the boxes in your positive list.
Example: You want to have a more important role in the organisation you work for.
Solution: Seek education in management and chase a promotion opportunity.
If you can’t find what you are looking for inside your organisation, then it might be time to leave.
Seal the deal – saying goodbye with dignity
So you’ve decided that you need a new career? You might be tempted to make your exit a very dramatic affair (depending on the rapport you have with your colleagues) but it’s usually not worth it to burn your bridges. That’s why you should bow out with dignity.
Conclusion
I hope you’ve taken some inspiration from the above notes. It might just give you the courage to take that first step toward a new you. It all boils down to the individual person and to ask yourself one question. What do you want in life? The dream can become real with a bit of courage.
Thank you for reading. Leave a comment down below.